When You Actually Listen To Self-Help Books

There was a period of time where my bedside table was only filled with self help books. You Are A Badass. Mindset. Outliers. Rich Dad Poor Dad. The Four Hour Work Week. In my mid-twenties, I was bouncing between finding new ways to torment my liver, and searching for nirvana (usually via Eckhart Tolle quotes…)

“Don't wait to be successful at some future point. Have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

So with Tolle’s permission, back to the bars I’d go.

Concerts and pool-hopping in Toronto summers aside, I was starting to see change, and in a really positive way. My little photography business was starting to get bigger clients and my husband Ian and I started to talk about moving to California. (Hot tip: In a relationship make sure you share your books so no one is left behind!) It seemed that surrounding myself with these words of wisdom were somehow seeping into my everyday actions.

You’re Not Broke, You’re bad with money

Ian and I especially loved Rich Dad Poor Dad. Cheesy at times, these simple, yet powerful anecdotes on money matters still reverberate in our minds to this day. Author Kiyosaki writes that those who believe they are broke tend to perpetuate that reality. How many of us know (or admit to being) someone who complains about their financial status, but don’t do much to change it? Yes, there is truth in serious poverty, but if you are living paycheck to paycheck, spend $24 on brunch, and then pout about your friend’s destination wedding, you’re simply bad at managing cash flow.

Another symptom of the perpetually-broke-person-with-a-perfectly-good-job, is the complainer. One step in breaking this vicious cycle, is changing the dialogue: “I can’t go to brunch because I am broke,” could be, “I am saving for a wedding, let me cook us breakfast instead.” It’s a mindset switch and when coupled with an honest re-arranging of your spending priorities, can lead to a surprising spike in savings.

Just like you ‘fake it until you make it’ as an entrepreneur, why can’t you apply the same logic to being someone with a million in savings? Let no goal sit too far from reach. Soon you’ll be brunching the day after your friend’s wedding, and maybe even have a couple vacations planned.

But what about the 3-month vacation?

Some of my favorite advice came from Tim Ferris’s wildly popular The Four Hour Work Week. He asks, why wait until you are old, grey, and likely lower in physical ability to enjoy retirement? It’s completely backwards. There is a very possible way to take little ‘sabbaticals’ during your life, and the best part is, spreading the joy through your 30’s and 40’s could very well prolong your life.

I spent years saying I was a struggling artist. I was that broke girl complaining about everything that cost money. But my first lesson appeared. I HAD to save to move to California and I HAD to save for a wedding. It wasn’t easy changing our lifestyle, but it wasn’t impossible either. I realized how malleable our lives were when you gave up certain luxuries. (Luckily buying clothing second hand is also embedded in our brains, and we prefer plane tickets over fancy clothes).

Within one year we had more than enough to move, and within two years, we also hit our goal to have the celebration of our dreams. It dawned on me that it was very possible to give myself a three month “sabbatical” of sorts, for a fraction of the wedding savings. The wheels started turning.

When was it time to take a break?

Fast forward four years. Ian and I have spent some of our best years here in San Diego. We adopt a kitten. I work for a company I adore. We travel every weekend. The weddings don’t stop and we make it to nearly all 25 of them. We make awesome friends. Routine settles. Dust settles (literally). The dry landscapes of Southern California, once glittering, begin to feel - well - dusty. We knew this SoCal journey would be a test if we could call it home. Something begins to feel off, but we can’t quite put our finger on it. I can feel those words of wisdom trying to spark something in the corner of my brain. It’s time for one of those little escapes.

Get to work before the play

I take Kiyosaki’s advice first - plan on how not to feel broke for three months. What is the middle ground amount I need to survive, and what can I put away each paycheck to get to my goal? To be specific, my goal is three months rent plus a stipend for food, travel, basic needs and a two month rent cushion. It seems shockingly large at first. But then each week, I see the account get fatter and fatter. It’s addicting. Each dollar saved is a day in the woods, writing, practicing yoga, each dollar is a well deserved minute of reflection.

Finally, we get to the fun part. We research areas where a lush landscape will re-invigorate. After talks of Montana, Idaho, and parts of Northern California, we decide on the Mt. Hood National Forest in Oregon. We barter with a lovely Airbnb owner to bring down the rent. We book.

Within a year, I have hit my savings goal. I say goodbye to my work family. We list our apartment for rent. We sell our things. We pack away our most important possessions. The rest is packed in the car. I sharpen my pencils and buy all the memoirs. I am ready for my first mini-retirement, and I am only 32 years old.

You can do it too.